Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
