The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
