Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize