Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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