lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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