someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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