whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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