Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
