PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
