This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
