Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
