i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
i think im in europe. pls send help
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
