i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
