If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
