Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
