there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We need to rekindle our bromance
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
