I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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