Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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