Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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