things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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