bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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