they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
