"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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