did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
