i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize