When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
