I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize