Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
