This is not my ceiling
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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