is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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