My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
