Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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