He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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