so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
