come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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