I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
