having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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