speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
