She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
