Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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