Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
