U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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