Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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