Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
