you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
