what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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