Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
