found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize