i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
