By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
