marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
