Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
