Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
