Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Bring me that man meat
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
