Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
