Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
