Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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