So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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