So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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