i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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