People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
