just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
