I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
