I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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