This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
