he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
