I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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