everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
