i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
