Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
